COVID-19

Jul 22 2020

The need for Normal

Recently, I was out running errands and decided to do something I haven’t done in a very long time: go through the drive-thru at Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee.

Since we’ve taken a very conservative approach to keeping ourselves safe in the COVID-19 era, this favorite-thing-to-do has been a thing-of-the-past until then.

However, on that day, I had such a longing for Normal that I decided to take the precautions needed and totally savored that first familiar sip of a medium-hot-with-cream.

When I got home, I couldn’t wait to tell Dave, “I did something normal today!”

When Normal evades us

We all long for Normal on some level, but this previously reliable friend has become quite an evasive character in this currently upside-down season of our lives.

However, while COVID-19 has been a powerful force in altering our relationships with Normal, the truth is this dynamic can take place when we’re knee-deep within any intense time of our lives.

When we’ve lost a job or faced financial hardship.

When we’re experiencing some type of health crisis for ourselves or someone we love.

When we’re in the midst of short- or long-term caregiving.

When a loved one is journeying through the final days at end of life.

Longing for Old Normal

There’s nothing wrong with longing for Old Normal—and sometimes we can do little things that allow us to step back into its embrace.

When our routines have been turned upside down by virus-related restrictions, we can focus on the things we can still enjoy, rather than those that are off limits for a while.

When money is tight, we can enjoy something simple and familiar that doesn’t cost a thing.

When health is on the fritz, we can do something low-key that allows us to rest in the process.

When caregiving leaves us feeling overwhelmed, we can embrace a simple routine of renewal, even if it’s brief.

When a loved one is journeying through end-of-life days, we can savor each moment by learning how to balance their needs with our own.

Balancing what’s old with what’s new

As we go through various seasons of our lives, meeting a new form of Normal is a pretty common thing.

While that can be a difficult process, I think there are things we can do to help smooth the way.

After all, meeting New Normal doesn’t mean we have to discard Old Normal altogether—since this friend has provided a lot of structure and comfort along the way.

In fact, finding a way to balance both the old and new iterations of Normal can help us adjust as we age.

Jesus provided a perfect example of this after he rose from the dead.

In John 21, his disciples are in the midst of many shifting Normals.

After all, they’ve just gone through a period in which their Lord had gone from receiving the accolades of Palm Sunday to being killed within the week.

From being placed in a tomb to rising from the dead.

And in this particular passage, although Jesus has made post-resurrection appearances, they’ve not yet received clear direction about what to do next.

So, they do an Old-Normal thing.

They go fishing.

And after they’ve spent the night tugging in their empty nets, Jesus appears on the morning shore (though they don’t immediately know it’s him), and asks them about their catch.

“Nada,” they reply (or something along those lines).

So Jesus tells them to put their nets down on the other side of the boat (and I can just see a cranky and exhausted Peter rolling his eyes).

But, when they do so and then try to pull in the net, it’s so loaded with fish they can’t get it in the boat.

The sudden arrival of this Not Normal is when Peter realizes it’s Jesus standing on the shore.

So he dives into the water and scrambles toward his Lord.

However, when he and the rest of the disciples arrive, Jesus doesn’t do some New-Normal thing one might expect from a risen Savior.

Instead, he builds a fire and cooks breakfast for them all to share.

Now, Jesus may have had specific reasons for choosing such an Old-Normal thing at that particular point in time.

After all, he knew these men he loved were hungry and feeding them would’ve been a practical thing to do.

And he was a servant leader, so he might’ve been modeling this dynamic for them.

Or maybe he wanted to provide evidence that in his risen form, he had a real body that functioned like everyone else’s.

It may have been any or all of those possibilities.

But one thing I’m willing to bet is that in the midst of all the New Normals the disciples were facing, getting to do such an Old-Normal thing with their beloved Lord was quite comforting.

And I think the same is true for us.

We may not be able to will away the New Normals in our lives that represent changes that are hard to accept.

But perhaps we can embrace them more easily by allowing Old Normal and New Normal to join hands once in a while as we balance the comforts of yesterday with the challenges that are ahead.

Feature photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash.

This post is adapted from Sue’s Perspectives column in the latest edition of The Empowered Traveler™ Newsletter. If you’re not already a subscriber, you can do that here: Subscribe to Sue’s newsletter.

Mar 31 2020

When COVID-19 infection leads to hospitalization: Simple ways to plan ahead to comfort a loved one from afar

In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, unprecedented headlines abound.

With the death toll mounting, some of the most heart-wrenching stories for me have been those that describe the heartache of families who were not able to be with their loved ones when they died in the hospital.

We saw the early signs of this dynamic in images of family members sitting outside assisted living and skilled care facilities—which is still occurring—talking on the phone to loved ones through the window, and pressing their hands against the pane in an effort to maintain some sense of connection to find comfort for them both.

Stethoscope to symbolize how COVID-19 hospitalization may lead to separation from loved ones

How hospitalization with COVID-19 infection creates separation

In the last few days, we’ve watched hospital doctors and nurses on the news, describing the heartache of being the single bridge of communication between a patient and family.

One doctor talked about helping a patient FaceTime with his wife as he was about to be sedated and then intubated so he could get the ventilator support that was needed.

In another story, a nurse wept as she described FaceTiming with a family to provide a bridge of communication as their loved one was dying.

I have so many thoughts running through my head in response to all of that.

Instead of trying to address them all in one post, I’ll start with this.

Woman with hands out with yellow daisy in palms

How you can give—and receive—comfort from afar when a loved one is hospitalized with COVID-19 infection.

In the midst of the uncertainty of this pandemic, a time may come when you may need to provide comfort from afar for a loved one who is in the hospital with COVID-19 infection.

And actually, that goes both ways.

If you need to be hospitalized or separated in another way, your loved ones will need comfort from you, too.

The stories shared by healthcare workers on the front lines indicate that if someone’s condition declines and ventilator support is needed, there’s a short window of time in which that occurs.

So, there may not be much time to prepare and think about all of this then.

Additionally, in the hospital setting and during a time when everyone is cooped up at home and online, there may be connectivity issues that inhibit your ability to communicate.

Plus, hospital restrictions may mean that patients might not have their own phones.

However, in other settings that may not be the case, and personal phones might be permitted.

With all of that in mind, consider how you might plan ahead through things like:

Writing a card, letter, or series of notes to remind someone of how much they mean to you. If a loved one is heading to the hospital, send them with them—and if you are the one leaving your home for care, leave them at home for your family to read while you’re away.
Recording comforting audio or video messages a loved one can listen to while you’re separated. The sound of a loved one’s voice can be so soothing, and is simple to do. You can use the video or audio recording functions on your phone to create a file which can then be sent via email or text. Text messaging applications usually have the ability to leave audio messages, too. If you can record messages on your loved one’s phone, that may be even better.
Sharing passages of Scripture that hold special meaning and can offer comfort and hope.
Recording or writing out prayers to share with your loved one.
Of course, prayer is always a powerful way to send comfort for someone else—asking God to provide it when you can’t be there to do that yourself.

These are a few simple ways you can send comfort from afar—and you can be creative and find your own ways to do it. An important thing to consider in these uncertain times is the need to plan ahead.

Hopefully, you and your family will do well in this crisis and no separation will occur. And if that’s the case, you’ll end up with a treasure trove of loving gestures to share that also serve as reminders that every day is a gift.

How about you? What ideas do you have for giving—and receiving—comfort from afar?

Please join the conversation by commenting below.

As note: Remember that you shouldn’t send confidential information through digital tools and networks (including email, text, and video/audio tools) that may not be secure. Unless it’s specifically set up as an encrypted means of communication, likely it’s not secure, so you would be doing so at your own risk.

Mar 30 2020

A pressing issue that has been there all along

In this era of COVID-19, there are many pressing issues filling the headlines.

I could start a list, but since our world has been turned upside down, we’d be here all day.

Instead, I’d like to focus on a pressing issue that has been with us all along—but has recently been underscored by the increased awareness of mortality that the COVID-19 pandemic has provided: the need to prepare for end of life.

Now, I’m not trying to be gloom and doom, but encouraging—so please bear with me a minute.

Having worked in critical care for 12 years and then 15 years in hospice, I’m pretty familiar with death. Since I worked in both pediatric and adult ICU’s—including the trauma ICU—I witnessed how life could change in a millisecond with no preparation at all and that age didn’t necessarily factor into the equation. During my years in hospice, I saw there was typically more time to prepare—but that didn’t mean someone was always ready or willing to do it.

All of my experiences with death over the years have made me passionate about helping others prepare for end of life—which is why I talked about what I did in last week’s column, and why my upcoming-and-hopefully-debut novel is about the last 60 seconds before death.

In this context, two specific media items over the past few weeks caught my eye and have remained on my mind.

The first was a headline about how the coronavirus pandemic is making people more aware of their need for advance directives.

The second was a television commercial in which a well-known evangelist offered a simple invitation to a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Both struck me as powerful reminders of this unique season we find ourselves in.

One in which daily headlines remind us of our own mortality and many feel powerless regarding the potentially dire consequences of becoming infected with the coronavirus.

However, we aren’t powerless at all.

After all, we can:

Be part of the solution by adhering to recommendations to reduce the spread and decrease our chances of becoming infected.
Prepare for unexpected health events, including death—which is something we should do even when we’re not dealing with a global pandemic.
Make a choice about how we obtain peace, hope and strength in these and other troubled times—as well as where we’ll spend eternity.

In addition to all of the goodwill and caring that will become evident during this pandemic, I believe the last two are some of the most positive dynamics we’ll see as a result of this era.

In a world where we’ve had so many advances in science and medicine, I think many in our society have been lulled into a false sense of security about health and wellness—expecting there will always be a magic pill or treatment to cure things that make us sick.

For now, the coronavirus pandemic has changed that.

In the current treatment environment, the reality is that some who are infected will do well, and some may not.

However—though the headlines about COVID-19-related mortality numbers can be scary—the potential for death is nothing new, nor is the need to prepare for it.

After all, it can arrive at any moment—whether it be from some novel disease that blows across the planet, or a quick trip to the store to pick up milk.

I’m not saying all that to be negative—but as an encouragement about the hope within our reach.

No matter what’s happening around us, we are not powerless in this world.

There are things we can do—like create advance directives and prepare our affairs to be ready for both the expected and unexpected in our lives.

And we certainly aren’t powerless about finding a source of peace, hope, and strength in the midst of troubling times—or determining where we spend eternity after we leave this world.

Jesus came to make sure of that.

And his offer of salvation and eternal life are available to anyone who would like to accept it.

I know these are difficult times, largely because of the uncertainty involved.

But there are things you can do to gain more control of your circumstances—and one of the most essential and effective is to invite God to join you so you can enjoy the peace and hope only he can provide.

This post first appeared in the 3/29/2020 edition of The Empowered Traveler™ newsletter.